Post by Jacqueline McWilkinleyson on Mar 6, 2024 21:41:24 GMT -8
JACQUELINE "JACKIE" McWILKINLEYSON
BASIC INFORMATION
Age and Birthday: 38; Somebody Remind Me, 1986?
Year and House or Profession: Witch Weekly columnist
Canon: No
Special Abilities: Hahahahaha
FAMILY & HISTORY
Place of Birth: Dover
Notable Relatives: Garfield McKinley, if you're cool
Character History: Jackie's parents, Jean and Garfield, met at a Hall and Oates concert, as far as she knows. Their song is Sara Smile. Jackie finds them endlessly aggravating. Her father, for example, is both a low-level Ministry worker and an aspiring novelist, and Jackie doesn't understand him at all. Because, seriously, why is he writing a book when he could work harder at advancing himself in the Ministry? Jackie always aspired to different things. Not fame, not even extreme wealth really--she's realistic enough. But certainly not bad art.
When she was a student at Hogwarts (in Hufflepuff), she developed a crush on the accident-prone son of her father's coworker (who himself was secretly obsessed with her). She and this kid, Willy Wilkinson, started dating after he accidentally poisoned her and lied to her about being from Space in order to win her over, and they never stopped, despite a lot of mishaps, now lost to time.
The two got married after their graduation from Hogwarts, of course. They had survived so many near losses of life and one loss of limb together and were inseparable, taking the surname McWilkinleyson. Jackie still believes that Willy is from Space, and Willy is now at peace with this lie since he understands that it has brought and continues to bring Jackie so much happiness.
Willy now lives in a mechanical exoskeleton that he built himself. This has significantly cut down on his recurrent coccyx injuries. The exoskeleton has also replaced and even exceeded the previous functionality of his hands, as it contains various specialized appendages for grasping, mitten display, playing the harpsichord, et cetera, if you know what I mean.
The pair have already had two children (Akmene and Jean) and will eventually end up having many more, and Jackie is raising them to respect their Space Robot culture and language (everything she knows about Space Robots, she learned from the Star Wars Holiday Special, a gift from Willy for their second Christmas together that she believes to be an factual documentary). Jackie writes a parenting advice column for the Quibbler, even though most of her children will enter Hogwarts completely illiterate (but not Jean, through no merit on Jackie's part). She and Willy are very happy.
OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
Name or Alias: Lindy
Pronouns: she/her
Experience: Hogwarts Magic alum, active a few years way back when
Other Characters: No
Role Playing Sample: Jackie technically should not have been going to the Reunion. She was, after all, legally considered dead and basically "in hiding". Not to mention, her alias (Jackie Bilkinson) was made up and obviously not a Hogwarts alum. But she was feeling so dang cooped up. Willy (aka Billy) was great. The kids were great. But sometimes one needed to immerse oneself in a larger social world. Jackie was beginning to develop fantasies about her past self being a social butterfly. She imagined all her great friendships from her school days... Ah, Rose Zeller. Okay, no, they hadn't really been friends, just momentarily in some superhero group together. That day was basically a fever dream. Portia Donaghue? Well, she was more Willy's friend. Who else had been a Hufflepuff at that time? Jackie was sure that when she arrived at the ball, she'd recognize and remember someone who must have been her best friend ten years ago. Like, she definitely had had a best friend. Only weirdos didn't, and she was very normal.
Willy was indifferent on going to the ball. Hogwarts held a lot of painful memories for him, plus his friends, the Hells Satans, were going to make fun of him for skipping a night. But Jackie seemed so excited, and Willy sort of did want to hear if any of his former classmates were starting to notice his fantastic accomplishments (the Wiznet, centaur peace-making, experimental cures for hypothetical viruses, guiding a large motorcycle-based dust organization) and appreciate him. Not that he'd reveal his true identity, obviously. Just ask around, unsuspiciously.
Jackie dressed up in an enormous, flowery pink gown (imagine the guy behind her is Willy, but picture noodlier arms and probably no beard) and a pink mask that covered her whole face. Dang, she looked good and mysterious. She thought Willy looked good too; the black and red really brought out the translucency in his skin. They dropped the kids off with their weird neighbor and headed to Hogwarts.
They did have some trouble getting into the ball, but the security troll at the door was easily convinced that there it was just a mistake on the official rolls. Jackie and Billy Bilkinson, social butterflies, unleashed.
They scanned the room for fellow alum, totally disinterested in the current students milling about (um, since when did sixteen year olds look like babies?), very interested in the canapes (hot dogs wrapped in pastry to look like mummy fingers? Don't mind if I do!). Willy gave a cordial nod to Mr. Darling. Then they both realized that they didn't actually like other people all that much and wordlessly decided to find an old, familiar alcove to make out in.