Year/Job
Astronomer
Lamp's.
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Post by Annie Walker on Jan 31, 2024 19:50:24 GMT -8
He'd suppose he was distracted this morning. That was true overall, as Dot chattered during their drive to school about her most recent obsession-- origami, he wasn't so distracted as to not be well aware of the subject of her very grown up discussion with her Papa-- and then as they saw her off, and as Maverick stayed unmoving in the driver's seat to watch her get into the building, and as he finally pulled away. His mind was wandering amid the routine, and his eyes kept getting caught on the setting moon in the west, only just visible as the sun carried its march a little higher in the opposite sky. He didn't think he could blame the daytime moon for his distraction, though. That was just where he absently let his eyes settle, contentedly quiet for now.
Maybe it was just recent events. Everything was fine, and it would be silly to bring it up, but a week ago, Dotty had caught her first real glimpse of where he put his frustration when it overflowed. Far from anything dramatic or any of his fears of being a bad influence, she'd stumbled across him hitting the bag, which was normal, and acceptable, and she had accepted it easily. She'd compared it to when her own feelings were 'too big for her body' and she had tantrums. She'd asked if she might hit the bag herself next time she was angry, since right then it was Tad's turn. Ultimately it had been a positive interaction, and the best way Annie could have asked for his little girl to get to know the aggression that lived within her tad. That still didn't mean it was easy for him. It just meant that it wasn't any harder than it had to be, and in the past few days, he'd touched in his own mind on what feelings he had about it a few times, always just before determining that he didn't really want to deal with it. She was good, she was happy, she wasn't scared, and that was all he really should care about. And, y'know, that she was doing alright at school and all that. She didn't struggle the same ways he had at all though, so he had few concerns, few complaints. They were good. Things were good. And the moon was out.
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Year/Job
Muggle University Professor/Historian
Fair is Foul, Foul is Fair. |
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Post by Maverick Walker on Feb 1, 2024 9:56:02 GMT -8
There was little more Maverick hated than having to wake up early in the mornings. Granted he did it almost every day, especially since they had gotten Téa, but it still was never his favorite thing to do. He didn’t usually sleep until late and normally in the mornings Annie would get her ready for school and make breakfast since he normally was already up. But that usually meant that around eight am, he had to get up in order to drive her to school. Today in particular he was thinking about how he needed a coffee, or six, as he parked and watched their little girl jump out of the car and into the school building. It took him a minute to start driving again, his thoughts seemingly going a thousand miles a minute. Maybe it was the last of sleep, he hadn’t been able to fall asleep until close to when Annie would normally wake up. Maybe he should have known better than trying to even get up this morning. Little to no sleep meant that Maverick was much more emotional and high strung.
It wasn’t until they were about halfway home that the panic about their daughter set in. Wasn’t she supposed to take placement exams soon? He as pretty sure he remembered that from his own childhood, right? He let himself mull that one over, until it got to be too much for him and he pulled off the car to park it on the side of the rode, putting a hand over his chest and resting his head on the steering wheel as he tried to just… count his breaths his free hand coming to rest on his chest. What if she wasn’t ready for all of this? He remembered exams being stressful, even as young as she was. The horrible anxiety that he had felt and the pressure to do well from both his parents. His free hand reached out for Annie, grabbing at his husbands hand as he let out a trembling breath. ”Fuck.”
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Year/Job
Astronomer
Lamp's.
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Post by Annie Walker on Feb 2, 2024 8:34:25 GMT -8
Maverick didn't drift when driving, and as soon as the car started to shift toward the dirt running alongside the tarmac of the road, Annie moved his gaze from out the windscreen to his husband, waiting patiently and wordlessly for him to put the Cadillac into park, and placing his hand within easy reach for when Maverick inevitably grabbed for it. Whatever it was, Annie was now fully present as he always was for a loved one in distress, placing his free hand over theirs locked together.
"What is it, love?" he could assume Maverick hadn't slept well. He'd been troublesome to wake this morning to say the least. That was just a precipitating factor though: it was almost always about some invasive spiral of thoughts gripping his husband like a vice in the wake of his unwilling consciousness. "She's safe and sound like always," he offered to assuage a common concern. Dot even liked being at school. It was a relief to Annie when she'd first started, given his acute awareness that had Dot been just a touch too clingy, Maverick's panic over the matter would have increased tenfold.
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Year/Job
Muggle University Professor/Historian
Fair is Foul, Foul is Fair. |
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Post by Maverick Walker on Feb 2, 2024 23:13:32 GMT -8
What was it really? A heady combination of lack of sleep and instinctual fear that something terrible was going to happen to their daughter maybe. He could feel his resolve slipping through his fingers like dry sand as he practiced his breathing exercises, reaching for his husbands hand to hold tight in his own. He wasn’t sure how to put any of this to words as he wrapped a second hand around Annie’s one, breathing in slowly and out even slower as he tried to relax. ”I’m not so certain.” Maverick said, his voice shaking. Hw knew it was the lack of sleep talking. His emotions were horrible when he wasn’t sleeping right and it had been discussed time and time again in his therapy sessions. Sleep was important for him… well. It was for anybody, but him more than most. That and keeping a decent schedule.
”…Should we take her out of school and homeschool her?” There was no basis for it, but fuck did it feel like a good idea right now.
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Year/Job
Astronomer
Lamp's.
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Post by Annie Walker on Feb 3, 2024 20:32:50 GMT -8
Maverick's certainty could waver. Annie's was a little more grounded, and they balanced out. Dot would pitch a fit if they pulled her from school, from her friends there, even if provided with conciliatory playdates. He wouldn't be bringing that up at the moment. Not just yet, and not like that. "We could talk about what has you thinking in that direction?" He suggested, bringing his free hand up to pet the ever perfect curls atop his husband's head. "Might be worth getting a bit more rest." The problem was that they were still a few miles from home, and while apparition was an emergency option, Maverick would typically refuse any option to abandon the car, fuss with it magically to bring it along, or have Annie drive it home alone.
It was a bit of a shame that Maverick was having such a difficult morning, because their daughter had had an excellent one. She was awake a little earlier than her usual, and had requested some time to play in the garden before getting ready. They'd eaten breakfast together on the front porch, her still in her flannels, and she'd bargained for watering the plants as well, but hadn't even been overly upset when he told her she didn't have the time to do so, that she ought to go get her school uniform on so he could fix her hair. Some days it seemed Dot took after one of them more than the other. It was just that today, she was the same dutiful early riser as her tad, unburdened by the headspace her papa was in today.
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Year/Job
Muggle University Professor/Historian
Fair is Foul, Foul is Fair. |
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Post by Maverick Walker on Feb 3, 2024 21:14:54 GMT -8
He really, truly didn’t know what to do right now. He let go of Annie’s hand and grabbed at his husbands bicep, leaning his head against the others shoulder. ”I can’t breathe.” Is what he settled for saying, pressing his face into his shoulder, trying to hide. Maybe he did just need much more sleepy than he had gotten. His grip kept tightening on the other until it bordered on being just too tight. Fuck what was he even supposed to do right now other than pretend he wasn’t spiraling towards a catastrophe. He wants her out of that school before she’s stuck in a never ending feedback loop of ‘you’re not doing good enough’. That wasn’t what he wanted for his daughter, that was the last thing he’d ever wanted for her. Maverick loved her far too much to let her fall into that loop. ”We should go pick her up.” he said, his voice strained.
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Year/Job
Astronomer
Lamp's.
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Post by Annie Walker on Feb 3, 2024 21:30:15 GMT -8
Annie shushed him, cradling the back of his head and resting his chin atop those perfect curls, flawless even when Maverick was terrified. "Maverick, love," he whispered. He shifted back to press a firm kiss to Maverick's forehead, then to hold his jaw in both hands and look at him. "I need to know why. Step out, we'll get some air, and you can help me figure where your head's at, right?" This was more severe than Maverick's usual. He stressed often, and that did come with a good deal of fretting about Dotty's wellbeing, if they were doing a good job with her, if she was safe, if she was happy, if she was meeting all the developmentally appropriate milestones, if if if.
Annie was prone to worrying, but not quite in the same ways. He wanted her safe and healthy, and he could trust professionals well enough to handle their daughter. Maverick had his own reasons to be mistrustful of the way adults handled children.
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Year/Job
Muggle University Professor/Historian
Fair is Foul, Foul is Fair. |
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Post by Maverick Walker on Feb 3, 2024 21:49:01 GMT -8
The kiss helped settle Maverick just a touch but the idea of getting out of the car set him gripping Annie again, just as tight as he had been before. ”I don’t want her there anymore I think- I co-.. I could do it better it would be fine-“ he’d grown enough as a person in the past ten years, to understand when he was being illogical, when he was acting a bit crazy and this was beyond his usual at this point. He had been getting better. He really really had but he was making himself anxious and it was a horrible loop he was currently catching himself in. Generally if he felt like he was backtracking that was cause enough for a spiral and this felt incredibly bad right now. ”i don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to fix it.”
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Year/Job
Astronomer
Lamp's.
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Post by Annie Walker on Feb 3, 2024 22:16:03 GMT -8
Annie was not terribly inclined to push for it when an idea landed poorly. They could stay in the car if it was better, but sometimes if the location was okay, Maverick would calm down faster out by the bonnet. "Thought you quite liked Miss Nevitt." Every new teacher Dot joined the class of, Maverick would spend a week background checking them. Her second year teacher, Sara Nevitt, had passed this thorough investigation at the start of last term to Maverick's surprise satisfaction. Annie had never been one to look a gift horse in the mouth.
"Cariad... There may not be anything that needs fixing." Maverick was just frightened about something that he wasn't letting Annie in on just yet. He didn't mind it. There was a decent possibility that he would calm enough to drive them home, then get his extra sleep, and choose not to bring up this morning's meltdown. Annie didn't mind that either. If Maverick was happy, so was he.
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Year/Job
Muggle University Professor/Historian
Fair is Foul, Foul is Fair. |
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Post by Maverick Walker on Feb 3, 2024 22:31:49 GMT -8
Okay… he did like Miss Nevitt, she had passed his weirdly thorough background check three times over and they hadnt had a single problem with her, but that didn’t make anything that was happening right now feel more okay. He felt like he needed desperately to protect Téa from something. Maybe it was just his own personal vendetta against letting a constant fear of failure linger over kids, but he couldn’t stop the cycle that was going through his head right now. ”I just don’t want her to sit through any-… progress or placement exams-“ he could remember his own mothers disappointment when Maverick hadn’t faired as well as Lucien, something that followed him through his entire life. Nothing either of them ever did was good enough. ”I think we should just pull her out and homeschool her. Forever.” a point of contention for them had been whether or not Téa would be going to Hogwarts and while Maverick wasn’t the best with magic, after everything he’d seen happen at that school? He was terrified of the day a letter came for her.
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Year/Job
Astronomer
Lamp's.
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Post by Annie Walker on Feb 10, 2024 17:34:00 GMT -8
He reached across to rub at Maverick's opposite shoulder, and brought himself in to press a firm kiss to his nearest shoulder. Whatever the specifics of the problem, he was safe, and he was loved, and so was their kid. Endlessly. "Forever is a very long time, love." Besides, Dotty loved going to school. Little spitfire that she was, she'd burn the house down if they tried to pull her out now. Not to mention all the sleepovers Eva took at their place on school nights with the promise to Iola and Nyle that they'd get her to school with her cousin in the morning. "Besides, any exams are years out, and however they go, it's not exactly going to limit her options for secondary school."
She'd be attending a school of magic for secondary, that much was pretty clear, even if there was some dissent about where she would attend. Maverick didn't have fond memories of Hogwarts, and frankly neither did Annie, but Annie had been visibly heartbroken enough at the prospect of sending her to Beauxbatons away from family that Maverick had actually allowed Annie to walk away from him. Maverick still didn't want her there of course, but after Annie had been granted room to process the idea, it was an ongoing discussion rather than a fight. By Annie's account, their own experiences of fear and violence didn't really count: they'd been at Hogwarts during the war, and things were different during peacetime. Granted, even Annie's academic experience hadn't been great, but many of the professors were now different, Dotty didn't have a learning disability like he did, and her cousins would all be at Hogwarts with her if she needed support. Not the issue at hand, however. She loved school, and they couldn't pull her out.
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Year/Job
Muggle University Professor/Historian
Fair is Foul, Foul is Fair. |
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Post by Maverick Walker on May 1, 2024 19:36:35 GMT -8
Maverick was taking a moment to catalogue what he needed right now in order to feel safe. He had his husband and Annie was touching him so really that was the best place to start. Beyond that he needed to be home. Maybe he could make Annie take his shoes off and drive, then again Annie’s driving always put him on edge at the best of times and this wasn’t the best of times. “I-… I think if we went and picked her up for the day I would feel better.” He tried, but it was probably a lost cause. He’d talked this over a million and one times with his husband, his brother, his therapist and when he felt like he needed a second opinion to the therapist, his brothers wife and they all seemed to agree that he couldn’t just pull her out of school every time he got like this.
he should have just stayed in bed and let Annie take Téa. Now here he was. Spiraling on the side of the fucking road.
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